Wednesday, March 12, 2008
My New Stuff

'Tis been a while.

Since I last posted anything, I have had a lil haircut, bought another car (exact same as Jeff...so he will now be known as Jeff 2) and have planned a trip to Mozambique.

The haircut is not really much to write about - I got something like 2 inches trimmed off. However, I will be hacking loads off for going away. I contemplated shaving it, but I would miss the faint smell of beer and pizza that lingers on my hair from day to day. Instead, I decided that while my hair will be very short, I will still pretty much have my ears covered - not that they need covering, I have exquisite ears.

Jeff 2 has power steering, electric windows and five (FIVE!) doors. He makes Jeff 1 look bad. Jeff 2 is not to be kept though. He is merely a wee money-making project that will end up on eBay.

Mozambique. Puuuure far away like. I'm going to be teaching and playing football with kids for a month. I will also be scuba diving, safari trekking, horse riding, walking everywhere, living in a thatched hut and will be taking pictures of absolutely everything. 

Before I end this wonderful little update, I would like to take the time to say "Hi Lindsay" :)


= C.J. Park = [ 5:15 PM ] | 1 comments

Tuesday, January 29, 2008
My January 29th Update

Not much has been happening recently to be completely honest. I'm still off alcohol, not including my work night out where I got completely hammered. 

I started salsa classes on a Tuesday evening and, I'm not going to lie...I f*cking rawk! I think I may be teaching my own class soon enough!

I'm currently reading Perelandra by C.S Lewis.

Officially started back Uni yesterday but didn't actually go because I felt like crap. The one January exam I sat went pretty well so all is good.

Nothing more to report. 




= C.J. Park = [ 4:47 PM ] | 1 comments

Tuesday, January 15, 2008
My Non-Religion

After having an in-depth argument with Mr (Chris T)homson about the existence of God, and the theory of evolution, I have decided to collate all the athiest arguments that I am aware of against the existence of God and publish them here to try and recruit you on team athiest.
So here we go:

- There are so many Gods, and so many religions. It is entirely impossible for all of them to be simultaneously true. However, it is completely possible for all of them to be simultaneously false.

- Theists often cite the design argument to argue for the existence of God - the universe displays elements of design, therefore, in following the rule that every design must have a designer, it too  must have an ultimate designer. However, for this to be true, the Theists' God must be exempt from the rule which they argue for, unless God has a designer, who in turn has a designer, who in turn has another designer...and so on and so forth. Furthermore, God is supposedly the 'perfect creator', but for this to be verified, men would not have nipples.

- Charles Darwin's theory of evolution has been confirmed by almost every scientist in the whole world as the way in which humans came to be as they are today. All scientists agree and confirm that evolution is fact and did take place, even though they may not all necessarily agree on way in which it took place. The fantastical nature of the creationist theory disproves itself anyway, but the facts of evolution disprove it further. Actual, physical evidence in the form of fossils and biological experimentation also confirm the more rational, common-sense argument of evolution.

- To take Christianity as an example, the Bible is extravagant fictional nonsense. Yes, you could argue that every single far-fetched story is a metaphor. However, it is Christians themselves that often quote the scriptures so literally. The Ten Commandments make it near impossible for anyone to gain access to heaven - the entry requirements are just too high. Every sin is forgivable, except blasphemy. This means that I could be the best Christian that ever lived but I could accidently let slip a little "Jesus fu*@ing Christ" while crashing my car into a tree and I'd be straight off to hell. No lies are exempt from sinning. All thefts - no matter how small or insignificant - are sins. Christianity's God is a stubborn, malevolent, tyrant.

- Despite my stance on Christianity's God, I do not believe in the use of 'God lets evil exist therefore he must not' argument. This is purely for the reason that I believe evil exists to make the good things in life more beautiful.

- Belief in God is founded upon not such strong foundations as evidence, logic, reason or science, but on the notion of faith. In theory, faith could prove absolutely anything. For example, I think I am Chuck Norris, I believe that I am chuck Norris, I have faith that I am, in fact, Chuck Norris, thus I must therefore be Chuck Norris. The very concept of me believing, and having faith, in the idea that I'm Chuck Norris is the very evidence that I am Chuck Norris. This is how the crazy Christian system of belief - among others - works.

- Because God apparently wishes of all his/her creations to have the right of free will, many thiests use this as an argument as to why God cannot make them believe in, and love him/her - as well as in other similar arguments. However, God already knows what the future holds for every being, thus our destinies must be predetermined. This contradicts the idea of free will and we therefore cannot choose our own fate. To evaluate on this, we must either, as humans, have been giving selective free will by a slightly controlling God, or, there must not be a God.

There are probably a million more arguments that I have missed - and I may add some at a later date - but for now, these should be sufficient in setting your common-sense and rational logic in motion. There is no God...I wish there was...but there isn't.


= C.J. Park = [ 11:50 AM ] | 0 comments

My New Favourite Book

Some 60 or so pages from the end of Island By Aldous Huxley, I find myself thinking 'this is my new favourite book...this book is awesomeness personified!'

Its not because Island is exquisitely written and has a captivating storyline that I find myself enjoying it to such an extent; its not even because it falls under my favourite genre of political fiction. The reason why this book is phenomenal is because it is philosophical brilliance.

It magnificently depicts a perfectly attainable example of what I, for one, would see as an unblemished Utopia.

The concepts and logic within the novel are utterly flawless - Huxley is so obscenely clever. It is with great ease, that I can decide upon Aldous Huxley as my favourite author of all time, with his masterpiece Brave New World now becoming my former favourite book.

...I just hope one day that I will find my own Pala, and me, as I am in fact, rather than me as I think I am.


= C.J. Park = [ 12:34 AM ] | 0 comments

Saturday, January 12, 2008
My Sober Week

So its been almost a whole week since I last had a significant amount of alcohol (I had a lager shandy while playing pool with Chrissybaby in le Gardy - doesn't count). 

Anyway...to evaluate on my progress: 
- I feel I've done pretty damn well.
- I do not like being sober around drunks - e.g. last night.
- I am craving a pint of Tennents more than Pete Doherty craves smack.
- I don't enjoy it when I wake up knowing fine well that I'm feeling as good as I am going to feel all day, and that it won't get better as the alcohol escapes my bloodstream.
- I have nothing to look forward to when I finish a 9 hour shift working behind a bar, surrounded by cold, delicious draught lagers.
- My walking - and driving - in a straight line ability has improved dramatically.
- I genuinely feel I am - although I may not necessarily be - doing a positive thing.
- I have far too much energy now; which is not a good thing considering I've always been a stupidly hyperactive person anyway...dammit.



= C.J. Park = [ 12:15 PM ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, January 08, 2008
My New Years' Resolutions

So, its 2008, and after a pretty crap 2007, I've decided that I must set new years' resolutions that I could realistically adhere to.

- Firstly, I must cut down alcohol consumption dramatically. After an extremely drunken festive season, I am bewildered as to how my long suffering liver actually survived. This is probably the hardest resolution, but by far the most important.

- Secondly, I must eradicate the overdraft from my student account; or at least reduce it by say..a grand or so.

- Thirdly, be nicer to everyone in general - I'm an evil bugger.

- Fourthly, by the end of summer - be it on my own or with company - I must have climbed both Mount Snowdon (1085m) and Mount Scafell (978m) - the second and third highest peaks in Britain respectively behind the largest: Ben Nevis (1344m) which I've already tackled :)

- Fifthly, I MUST, every single week, do one thing that is completely new to me; such as an activity of exercise, some form of artistic activity or just go somewhere that I have never been to.

- Sixthly, I must draw/sketch more...I used to be good at this, but somehow lost interest for a while - did a wee doodle the other day which I thought was not entirely shit:


- Seventhly, and lastly, I MUST eat more on a regular basis.

None of these are particularly challenging except from the first. Therefore, if any are partly or wholly broken, I will be extremely disappointed!


= C.J. Park = [ 2:57 PM ] | 0 comments

Saturday, December 22, 2007
My Black Ice Crash

The magnificent Jeff has sustained a severe blow to his front passenger side wing. Yes...this is unbelieveable, but unfortunately, yes....it is true.

Spitting distance from the Gardenhall Inn, Jeff hit a horrendous patch of black ice. 

Not travelling at any great velocity - around 17 or 18mph to be precise - Jeff lost all breaking and steering power and slid straight forward, uncontrollably into some fir trees. 

The damage: dramatically dented front left wing, broken front bumper, severely bruised morale - Jeff is not in a good state. Although, Jeff's drive-ability is fully intact.

...Jeff will still have a good Christmas, despite his misfortune.


= C.J. Park = [ 11:15 PM ] | 0 comments

Friday, December 21, 2007
My Frozen Car

As I scraped the ice off Jeff's back windscreen with 'The Magic Numbers' first album - with my fingers turning blue at the tips - I pondered...do I actually like winter?

It has been damn cold for a good fortnight or so now, and it is dark constantly - I forget what the sun actually looks like.

However, winter has its upsides. For one, I can have my car going sideways round roundabouts (which there are millions of in ye olde E.K.) due to the obscene amount of black ice.

Also, the cold gives me an excuse to wear my kickass eskimo hat.

But still, there is no snow...and that just sucks!


= C.J. Park = [ 9:16 PM ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, December 18, 2007
My Difficult Essay

The question for my recent assignment for Modern Political thought seemed pretty straightforward at first glance:

Why, according to Hobbes, should individuals obey the state?

But it was no to be so...

I quickly realised that, several paragraphs in, I was completely lost in my own complex and peculiar web of thoughts and consequently I ended up with sentences such as this: 

Therefore, if every conflict between men over shared desires results in each man upholding his subjective right to the preservation of himself, and, acting in whatever manner is required thus to do so, every man - ultimately - will find himself amongst chaos between men. 

 ...To be entirely honest, I'm not even quite sure what this means, and it was I that dreamt it up.

However, I persevered and eventually finished the essay.

...I finally conquered my Leviathan.



= C.J. Park = [ 4:06 PM ] | 1 comments

Sunday, December 16, 2007
My Fellow Strathclyde University Student

Mr Tommy Sheridan is currently being held over allegations of perjury in connection to his News of the World defamation case.

He is sooooo going down because he is quite clearly a dirty bugger of a sex addict that somehow managed to lie his way out of a bad situation.

I haven't actually seen him kicking about the uni campus yet, but now I've got no chance!

The guy loves a good orgy...its a weakness...I feel bad for him!


= C.J. Park = [ 4:43 PM ] | 0 comments

My 12 Hour Shift As A Chef

A Table of 42 people and 3 other reasonably sized Christmas party tables were all booked in for yesterday at the Gardenhall Inn, so I, normally a bartender, got papped into the kitchen.

I turned up wearing ripped jeans and a Led Zeppelin  t-shirt raring to go. Muff, upon seeing that I was clearly not dressed for the occasion, made me wear his spare chef whites...which were a good 7, maybe 8, sizes too large - I looked positively ridiculous!

Anyway, I think I did pretty damn good as a chef. The shift was pretty uneventful in terms of sharp object and fire related accidents - Muff didn't bleed once!

Got a free pint in the kitchen as I worked so all was good.

Twas a fun day.


= C.J. Park = [ 11:23 AM ] | 0 comments

Thursday, December 13, 2007
My Favourite Band's New Single

Through means of the mighty Biffy Clyro's online newsletter, I have discovered that 'Who's got a Match?" is to be the next single taken from 'Puzzle' - y'know, track 3 dun dun dun...

It is easily the most commercial of all the tracks on the album, but damn is it awesome! With jagged guitar leads, catchy lyrics, and that awesome drumbeat, its hard not to love it. 

I honestly cannot wait to see the video for this. It has to be a piss-take!

On a sideways note, the new Biffy merchandise is pretty sweet. Wouldn't mind a new Biffy T for Christmas one little bit!


= C.J. Park = [ 11:35 AM ] | 0 comments

Wednesday, December 12, 2007
My Very Disturbing News Story

Quite a few months back, I was on the BBC News website having my wee daily read at the top stories when, to my sheer horror, I read the following headline: Man cuts off penis in restaurant

I knew straight away, I had to read this article - however disgusting it may be.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

Although it was not disclosed on the BBC website, I can confirm, that after trawling through many a news website, that surgeons failed to reattach the man's penis...

...poor show.


= C.J. Park = [ 12:33 PM ] | 0 comments

Tuesday, December 11, 2007
My Christmas List 2007

I was just thinking...

...as I sat on the toilet, what would I like for Christmas from my homie Santa.
So, I compiled a list of 10 gifts that I would like to find under my Christmas tree in two or so weeks from the fat dude in red:

10: Some black socks (I go through black socks at an insane rate)
9: Some new plectrums
8: A new wallet (Current one is trashed)
7: A box of malteasers (Park Christmas tradition)
6: A legitimate copy of photoshop
5: A Jimmy Eat World @ Barrowlands ticket
4: An actual fully operational beer tap
3: 'The Puzzle of Ethics' by Peter Vardy
2: New cowboy boots (clearly mine have been over-worn)
1: A retro-styled espresso machine for all my caffeine needs

Not too much to ask for...basic needs really!


= C.J. Park = [ 4:00 PM ] | 0 comments

My First Entry

I've been trying to get a blog up and running for a while and have never really got round to it. Well, to be completely honest, I just could not be a*sed!
Anyway, a recent lecture on blogging - or so called 'Citizen Journalism' - in uni has inspired me to publish my own drivel for your unenjoyment.

What to write though...this poses a problem...

So, I decided, I'm going to report the truly outlandish thoughts which are generated in my ever so twisted head that you - whatever sad person you are with far too much time on your hands - would otherwise not have known about. And, I'll also throw in some accounts of drunken nights and pictures of drunken sights.

Sound good?

Probably not...but pfft...


= C.J. Park = [ 12:05 AM ] | 0 comments